Why Self-care isn't Selfish

Yes, dear reader, I know what you might be thinking – oh dear, please not another vapid praise of self-care from yet another clueless millennial. Hang in there. This blog will transcend odes of essential oils and facemasks, I promise.

In our next few minutes together, I want to make the case that self-care is not selfish. Rather, I think the opposite is true, and that through caring for ourselves, we will show up better for those around us.

Let’s face it, happier people are generally nicer. Put it this way – how do you treat your loved ones after a night of 5 hours of sleep versus 8 hours of sleep? I wager that you are far more generous and patient after a good night’s rest.

Just like a phone needs to recharge to operate, we humans also need to “recharge” to function optimally. It’s the reason why weekends garner more effective workdays, why proper sleep will lead to a far more productive (not to mention happier!) day, and why you should invest a few minutes every day to take mental and emotional inventory on yourself.

Perhaps if we are kinder to ourselves, we will be kinder to others, too, creating ripples of happier and more-fulfilling circles around us. And on the flip side, perhaps the harder we are on ourselves, the harder we will be on others. This is precisely why insecure individuals disparage others, and why so many of our strong reactions are manifestations of emotional displacement. In psychology, we call this theory projection. The idea is basically that we project unto others what we see in ourselves. For example, the liar believes everyone is lying to him, and the cheater suspects everyone is cheating him. You get the picture.

So, dear reader, I hope you begin approaching yourself with more compassion and curiosity. Whether your “recharging” looks like exercising, journaling, a nightly dark chocolate indulgence, reading before bed, or so on, remember that your compassion is incomplete if it does not include yourself, and take solace in knowing that investing in down time will make for a more energized, kind, and giving version of yourself tomorrow.

In a society that is constantly on the go, self-care is often scoffed at. So, here’s that reminder, or perhaps even the permission for the chronic-workaholics out there, to take some time for yourself. And next time someone chides you for going to bed early, send them my way…

How do you practice self-care? Comment below :)