Perfectionism Busters

Reader, I have always been a people-pleaser. Closing my eyes during a yoga class, I would implore the benevolent force above: “please, oh please I hope the instructor doesn’t adjust my form.” To be singled out in the workout class just seemed too embarrassing.

I’ve come a long way from this faulty perspective in my undertaking to let go of perfectionism. Now, I feel grateful each time an instructor adjusts my form, because I know that this will only benefit me. And in that same way, we should learn to be more accepting, or I daresay, appreciative, of criticism. No one likes their ego bruised, but the truth is that if we can learn to shed our protective, almost instinctive, layer of anger upon hearing someone critique us, we can open ourselves up to a lifetime of growth. The friends that call you out are your angels. If they love and respect you enough to be honest with you and be the brave bearers of words you probably don’t want to hear, they are your truest friends. That’s not to say that there isn’t a way to deliver criticism sensitively, nor is it to say you should tolerate bullying. There’s a line between constructive criticism and outright bashing. When you encounter the latter, simply say “No thank you.”

The next strategy I employ when I feel my people-pleasing tendencies creep up is this: I remind myself that the things we are most embarrassed to say are exactly the things we should say. I’ve been so hopelessly caught up in what others think of me, that it’s caused me to hold things back from them. But how can people ever get to know us if we’re too self-conscious to share our dreams, fears, and ideas with them?

What’s more, what we are scared to tell others is often the best test you can lay before another person. The people who truly matter, the ones who will stick around, won’t make you feel bad about your quirky collection, unconventional idea, painful past, or learned fears. And those who make you feel small after you’ve been brave enough to be vulnerable with them – well, they aren’t worth your precious energy.

The last perfectionism buster tucked under my sleeve is the reminder that we all have a magnifying glass pressed upon ourselves, noticing our own blemishes more intensely than the naked eye of another could possibly. I bet the next time my form is adjusted in a yoga class, no one will bat an eyelash. And if someone does…who cares!