Self-care vs. Self-indulgence

How does one spot the bewitching line between self-care and self-indulgence? And more crucially, which Netflix episode or spoonful of nut butter becomes one too many?

Self-care is not indulgent. Through caring for ourselves we show up better for those around us. Yet, there exists a point at which any act taken to the extreme becomes more damaging than nourishing.

When you wonder whether you’ve traversed beyond the threshold of self-care, ask yourself the following questions: was your behavior self-punishing (i.e. overworking yourself at the gym)? Was it self-sabotaging (i.e. overeating despite yourself)? And how do you feel afterwards – refreshed or depleted?

Perhaps we should make decisions with our future-selves in minds. Hold onto your girdles because we are about to get cheesy – but put simply, your self-care habits should stem from a place of love. If they are rooted in a desire to recharge and recalibrate, then you are snuggly positioned in the arena of self-care. But if your actions are stemming from a desire to distract yourself from your worries, numb your pain, avoid your responsibilities, or punish yourself, then you may have drifted into the realm of self-indulgence. If this is the case, perhaps gently ask yourself what lays beneath the destructive habits?

We are all familiar with the expression “I love you to death.” Perhaps instead of “loving ourselves to death” by doing things that feel good in the moment but are detrimental down the line, we should heed to Sachin Patel’s advice to “love ourselves to life” by doing things that both feel good in the moment, and ultimately, are in our best interest in the long run. We extend this idea to the collective when we think about the cultural ways we promote harmful behaviors. What if we loved one another to life by providing healthier snack alternatives, like dark chocolate and fruits, at office desks, as opposed to loving each other to death with tootsie rolls and jolly ranchers?

Consuming the entire jar of almond butter in one sitting may be loving yourself to death, while enjoying a nightly serving of almond butter is an example of loving yourself to life. Ultimately, we love ourselves to life when we do things that promote our long-term health and well-being. What could be a sincerer expression of self-care? In this way, self-care ultimately boils down to acts of self-love.